1 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,990 Oh, good evening. 2 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:34,900 I am sure there’s a question in everyone’s mind. 3 00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:40,240 You are all wondering how I have managed to overcome the help problem. 4 00:00:40,270 --> 00:00:44,470 The secret lies in offering fringe benefits-- 5 00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:47,780 on the job training, things like that. 6 00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:50,350 These items don’t cost much, 7 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:54,450 and what I spend on them, I save on costumes. 8 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:59,420 Seriously, this is certainly not an honest picture of life in Hollywood. 9 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:03,260 We do believe in being comfortable while we work, 10 00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:06,660 but we never eat grapes during business hours. 11 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:12,330 Tonight’s story is entitled "The Greatest Monster of Them All," 12 00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:16,070 which certainly should be a cue for the sponsor to speak up. 13 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,160 [piano playing] 14 00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:53,340 Knock it off! Can’t you see I’m reading? 15 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,610 What’s the matter, Hal? There’s got to be silence 16 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,180 every time you stick your nose in the racing form? 17 00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:00,080 This isn’t a racing form, Morty. 18 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,150 This is a book on, you should excuse the expression, entomology. 19 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,660 -Ento what? -Entomology, stupid. 20 00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:10,460 -The study of insects. -Insects? I don’t get it. 21 00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:12,690 Neither do I, but I will. 22 00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:14,430 Got to find me a bug. 23 00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:16,430 So for this you need a book? 24 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,330 Please. 25 00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:19,900 -Good morning, Mr. Ballew. -Morning. 26 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:23,070 Take a look around, the joint is full of bugs. 27 00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:28,240 A fine movie studio you rented. 28 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,250 When they built this place, Lionel Berrymore was playing juveniles. 29 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,380 Never mind how it looks, I am getting it cheap. 30 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,150 You get everything cheap, boss. 31 00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:41,790 This I got to hand you. When it comes to cheap, you’re a genius. 32 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,690 Yes. Every day in every way. 33 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:52,100 Forty grand this one cost you, and it grossed over half a million. 34 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:54,100 Well, like I say, pure genius. 35 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,740 [Hal] Knock it off! Find me a bug. 36 00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:58,440 So, what you need a bug for? 37 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:02,480 For the next movie, stupid! Bugs are box-office. 38 00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:05,050 You want to make a monster movie today? We got to have a bug. 39 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,720 You mean like a... giant spider. 40 00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:13,050 Or... a scorpion, huh? 41 00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:16,320 Sure, only they all been used. 42 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,360 I need a new one. 43 00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:22,600 Say, how about a giant cockroach? 44 00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:24,430 Not bad. 45 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,530 Not bad at all. 46 00:03:28,170 --> 00:03:31,510 [spitting] No, I couldn’t. 47 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:32,470 It ain’t in good taste. 48 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,740 So let Logan dream up something. 49 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,480 He’s your writer, isn’t he? 50 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,220 That rummy! 51 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,720 Didn’t he almost win an Oscar once? 52 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:46,190 He used to be real artsy-craftsy. 53 00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:48,160 [Hal] All I know is he works cheap. 54 00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:49,190 Oh... 55 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:56,500 Oh, Freddie-boy! We’ve just been dropping your name. 56 00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:59,100 -[feigned laugh] How clumsy. -Hey! 57 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,640 You loaded? 58 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,440 No, of course not. 59 00:04:02,470 --> 00:04:05,510 [feigned laugh] I never drink on the job. 60 00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:06,810 Only after. 61 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,440 So you are on the job. 62 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,350 Show me the pages. 63 00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:13,050 Well, I haven’t been able to do anything yet, Mr. Ballew. 64 00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:16,380 You... said you’d have to decide on a giant insect. 65 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,350 That’s what’s bugging him. 66 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:20,760 -Get it? -Shut up. 67 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:23,290 Look, you’re such a hotshot writer, 68 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,330 you find me a monster bug. That’s your business. 69 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,230 Yeah, I guess you’re right. That’s my business, all right. 70 00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:30,600 Fred Logan, boy monster-bug-finder. 71 00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:32,070 Never mind with the sarcasm. 72 00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:33,640 All I want out of you is script. 73 00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:36,140 All right, so sue me! I am unable to think of a new type bug! 74 00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:41,080 All right, so never mind the bug. 75 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,310 Let’s play for the high-school audience. 76 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,080 Oh, you mean you want to change it to an adolescent theme now? 77 00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:49,480 No, like I said, high-school kids. 78 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,990 What do you say, Logan? 79 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,360 Think you can come up with a high-school background? 80 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:59,590 We got all those kids, young, full of life. 81 00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:01,860 Play them against death. 82 00:05:03,230 --> 00:05:04,170 Find me an angle. 83 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:08,470 OK, I think I can. 84 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,110 Ernst Von Kroft. 85 00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:18,410 Ernst Von Kroft, the greatest monster of them all! 86 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,920 Sure, I remember! 87 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,660 That’s how they used to bill him, back in the ’30s! 88 00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:32,690 Haven’t seen him around for years. 89 00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:34,230 He’s been in retirement lately, Hal, 90 00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:36,260 but this could make a great comeback vehicle for him. 91 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,600 Sure, that’s the bit! 92 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,600 The comeback! Milk it for publicity! 93 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,370 He’s too old to act. 94 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,640 Who cares? He’s still a big name with the horror department. 95 00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,540 I bet I can get him cheap! 96 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,640 And look, Morty, you wouldn’t have to use him throughout the picture, see? 97 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,780 Just in one or two key scenes. 98 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,480 You give me the treatment. 99 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,550 I’ll take care of Ernst Von Kroft. 100 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:56,750 [starts playing funeral march] 101 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,850 Now we got something working for us. 102 00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:02,020 Darling, they’re playing our song. 103 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:06,190 [continues playing] 104 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,530 [Morty] Now, get rolling with it, huh? 105 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,500 [Hal] Morty! 106 00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:14,140 There’s somebody I’d like to have you meet. 107 00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:18,240 Have you got a surprise! [laughs] 108 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,380 Morty Lenton, 109 00:06:21,410 --> 00:06:23,880 this is Ernst Von Kroft. 110 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,050 Great pleasure, Mr. Lenton. 111 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,850 Morty is the name. 112 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,290 We don’t go for the formal bit around here. 113 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,260 Just one big happy family, eh, Hal? 114 00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:40,230 You make with the acting, I make with the directing, and no problems, see? 115 00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:43,870 Our main idea is to bring your picture as quickly as possible. 116 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,470 The less retakes, the better. 117 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,740 And cheaper too. 118 00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:48,470 Oh, I quite understand. 119 00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:55,280 Oh, things have changed since the last time I worked in this studio. 120 00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:57,410 I made some of my biggest pictures here. 121 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,850 Yeah, sure. 122 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,850 Of course you might as well get 123 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,790 one thing straight right now, Mr. Von Kroft. 124 00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:06,390 This isn’t exactly going to be a big picture. 125 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:08,090 Strictly a low-budget deal. 126 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,590 But it can be a very good picture, Mr. Lenton. 127 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,760 Great films are not made with money, 128 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,870 they are made with love, 129 00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:19,830 with care, with integrity, 130 00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:22,940 and together we can create a horror picture 131 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,040 in the great tradition! 132 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,440 Not with the writer we got. 133 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,540 He ain’t no Edgar Albert Poe. 134 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,650 Writers like Poe we can’t afford anyway. [laughs] 135 00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:36,050 Times change, Mr. Von Kroft. 136 00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:37,050 Do they? 137 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:44,060 Gentlemen, in this very studio, 138 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:48,060 30 years ago, I played a monster. 139 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:51,500 I can make that monster... 140 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,800 walk again. 141 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,440 [inhales] 142 00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:57,770 [Morty screams] 143 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,310 [groaning] 144 00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:03,380 Fine! Marvelous! Bravo! 145 00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:05,510 That is wonderful, Mr. Von Kroft! 146 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,680 -Don’t you agree, Morty? -Yeah, sure! 147 00:08:09,550 --> 00:08:11,820 I’ve been thinking about my characterization. 148 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,760 There are a few touches I might add. 149 00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:16,090 I’d like to use my own makeup. 150 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,530 Wonderful! Go ahead. 151 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,360 Maybe you could play it without teeth! 152 00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:22,660 A toothless vampire? Wouldn’t that be a little odd, Mr. Lenton? 153 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:23,870 If you-- 154 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,630 That Morty is always in there with the rib. 155 00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,400 You go ahead, Mr. Von Kroft. 156 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,210 Work on makeup anyway you like. 157 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,270 Mind waiting for me in the makeup room? 158 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:35,440 -Oh, of course. -I got a few things to go over with Morty. 159 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,510 -It’ll only take a minute. -Yeah. 160 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,150 Morty. 161 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:40,380 Morty! [keys clinking] 162 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,690 -Where is he? -He’s gone. 163 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,560 Well? What do you think? 164 00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,830 I told you to let me run a test on him first. 165 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:52,390 This guy is strictly cornball. 166 00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:54,200 But when he did the monster for us, it was-- 167 00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:55,730 Ha... 168 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,170 Don’t tell me you went for his speech 169 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,070 about the great tradition and all that jazz. 170 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,370 You want a picture that is a solid grosser, 171 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,240 not one of them cockamamie art films! 172 00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:05,510 All right, Morty, all right. 173 00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,610 Do it your way. [laughs] 174 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,110 You haven’t missed yet. [laughs] 175 00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,090 [man] How about some coffee? 176 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:33,070 Good morning, good morning. 177 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,670 You’re looking very well this morning. 178 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,600 Let me see your makeup, darling. Oh, wonderful, wonderful. 179 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,740 -[Morty] Freddie! -Yeah, just a minute, Morty. 180 00:09:38,770 --> 00:09:40,580 -A new fit. -Come on, Lara. Bye-bye. 181 00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:43,040 More fangs, dear. 182 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,050 [metal clanking] 183 00:09:45,050 --> 00:09:47,150 [man] Yeah. 184 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,820 -Yes, Master. -I’ve been waiting for you, boy. 185 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,450 Got that new dialogue for this scene? 186 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,660 -Mm-hm, right here. -Let me see. 187 00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:56,730 OK. 188 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,130 Lara, darling, you and Pops run through these changes. 189 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,860 Go ahead. 190 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,830 [chattering] 191 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,440 Mr. Von Kroft.... 192 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,810 Krofty boy. 193 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:23,920 Von Kroft? 194 00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:29,820 Mr. Von Kroft? 195 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:31,530 -Here I am. -Oh! 196 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,500 [panting] 197 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,200 Don’t be afraid, my dear. 198 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,240 There’s no need to be afraid of me. 199 00:10:42,270 --> 00:10:44,540 [nervous laugh] 200 00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:52,380 -You smell of death. -Death? 201 00:10:52,410 --> 00:10:54,220 I bring you life! 202 00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,220 -Eternal-- -No, no, no! 203 00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:59,150 -No, please, no! -One kiss 204 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,760 and you shall join me... 205 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,220 -[panting] No... -...to live forever. 206 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,690 [Lara] No, no! Please, no! 207 00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,230 No! 208 00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:10,470 [clapping continues] 209 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,070 OK, you got the idea. 210 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,270 You think it’ll play, Freddie-boy? 211 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:21,540 Oh, I think that Mr. Von Kroft could inspire terror 212 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,550 just by reciting the alphabet. 213 00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:25,480 You two don’t know each other, do you? 214 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,520 This is Fred Logan. He wrote the screenplay. 215 00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:29,320 Very fine job, Mr. Logan. 216 00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:30,920 -Very fine job. -Look, Mr. Von Kroft, 217 00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:33,960 you and Lara go over it again and think of some business, huh? 218 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:36,490 -Yes, yes. -You like? 219 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,660 -Von Kroft? He looks great! -Never mind him, I mean the set. 220 00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:41,230 Oh, the set. 221 00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:44,270 Oh, that dummy up there, Morty. That looks pretty phony. 222 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,100 You know how the boss is about money. 223 00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,500 You want he should pay fifty bucks to some stunt man 224 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,140 just to hang there all day? 225 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:51,470 -Morty... -Huh? 226 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,010 ...these changes you had me make in the scene, 227 00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:57,480 why all this dialogue? I thought it would play better with just action. 228 00:11:57,510 --> 00:12:01,250 Never mind what you thought, I want some close shots of Von Kroft. 229 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,350 But why? It doesn’t make any sense! 230 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,920 I ain’t asking for opinions. What I want is cooperation. 231 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,290 And you better give it to me, Freddie-boy, 232 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,260 if you want to keep on eating. 233 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,400 All right, all right! Quiet, everybody! Quiet! 234 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,670 OK, you two know what to do. 235 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,110 Now, Lara, 236 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,980 you stand over next to the grave. 237 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:34,620 No, no-no, not like that! You are supposed to be a high-school kid! 238 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,320 Like this! [scream] 239 00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:44,960 You are out in a graveyard alone at midnight. 240 00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:46,860 Big deal! 241 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,930 What in the world is a girl doing in a graveyard at midnight and alone, yet? 242 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:54,100 Just do like the script calls for. 243 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,340 And would you get rid of that gum? 244 00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,870 [sighs] Yes, Master. 245 00:12:58,910 --> 00:13:01,410 [ironic laugh] Now, Mr. Von Kroft, 246 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,450 when she discovers you in this scene, you are lying in the coffin. 247 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,450 Would you mind just trying it for size? 248 00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:26,230 -How does it feel? OK? -Oh, yes, Mr. Lenton. 249 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:29,400 This will be a great picture. A great picture. 250 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,610 I’ve been away a long time. 251 00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:36,410 But now... 252 00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:39,850 I have come home. 253 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,730 [plays "Funeral march" incorrectly] 254 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,660 [finishes notes] 255 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,330 Hey, kid! 256 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,770 Long time no see. 257 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,370 Not since you wrapped up the picture. 258 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,340 How’d you like to write me another? 259 00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:03,940 I wouldn’t. 260 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,470 We’ll see. 261 00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,840 Come, let me pour you a drink. 262 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,080 I think that we can bring in a sequel fast and cheap. 263 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:13,050 I haven’t stocked the graveyard set. 264 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,180 We can get Lara Lee and old... what’s his name? 265 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,690 Von Kroft. 266 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:18,690 How is he? 267 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,060 Uh... I haven’t seen him. 268 00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:24,790 Gave him a ring tonight. Told him to catch the pic down the street. 269 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,430 We’re opening cold at the nabes all over town. 270 00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:28,760 I haven’t seen it yet myself. 271 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,830 Morty did a great job. That’s why I called you. 272 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:34,070 Hustle over and see it. And take notes. 273 00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:36,710 -Notes? Are you kidding? -This is Friday night! 274 00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:40,310 Great kid audience. Everything that sets them off, you make a note of it. 275 00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:42,640 Do a scene just like it in the sequel. 276 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:45,080 Aren’t you going to be there? 277 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,820 Are you kidding? 278 00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:49,150 I’ve got a weak stomach. 279 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,920 Morty is coming here later. 280 00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:53,420 We’ll look over the sets, see what we can save. 281 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,560 So hurry over and catch the show. 282 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:59,360 And remember, I want lots of notes. 283 00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:00,760 Yeah. 284 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,570 [eerie music playing] 285 00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,780 [odd, squeaky voice] Don’t be afraid, my dear. 286 00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:57,820 [laughs] 287 00:15:57,850 --> 00:16:00,460 There’s no need to be afraid of me. 288 00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:06,290 No one will dare to harm you while I am here. 289 00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,460 [laughter continues throughout] 290 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,370 I shall protect you always. 291 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,210 You smell of death. 292 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,310 Death? I bring you life! 293 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:21,880 Eternal life. 294 00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:24,350 [laughs continue] 295 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:29,350 One kiss and you shall join me to live forever. 296 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:32,050 Look at me. Look into my eyes. 297 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:35,690 I need your warmth, but the grave is cold. 298 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,530 And you are life. 299 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:42,900 And you are mine, now and for eternity. 300 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:44,970 [moaning] 301 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,440 -Shh! -[boy] Sit down, Pops. 302 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,020 [mumbling] 303 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,130 [knocks] 304 00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:21,370 [drunken voice] Von Kroft? 305 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,410 [mumbles] 306 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,110 [bottle clinks] 307 00:17:36,050 --> 00:17:37,690 Oh. 308 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,950 Oh. 309 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,060 Oh... 310 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,660 [heavy breathing] 311 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,230 Why are you sitting here in the dark? 312 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,960 This is where I belong. 313 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,430 In the dark, alone. 314 00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:55,100 Oh, come on, now! 315 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,640 Come on, it’s not that bad. 316 00:17:57,670 --> 00:17:59,240 Did you see the picture tonight? 317 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:02,880 Yes. 318 00:18:02,910 --> 00:18:05,150 Then you know it is that bad. 319 00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:08,820 What you need is a drink, see? 320 00:18:08,850 --> 00:18:11,550 -I bought a bottle. -No, thanks. 321 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,860 That won’t help. 322 00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:16,890 Well... 323 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,090 it helps me! 324 00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,560 Helps me. 325 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,500 Do you mind? 326 00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:34,080 See, the reason I... came over here, 327 00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:35,640 and to see ya... 328 00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,120 I want to explain. 329 00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:44,450 I’ve been sitting here ever since I came home. 330 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:48,590 Trying to think of an explanation. 331 00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:52,230 Forget about it. That’s my advice. 332 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,930 They did it deliberately. 333 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,770 Why? Why? 334 00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,400 Your friend, the director, 335 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,740 was so convincing. 336 00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:07,680 Said he needed all those close-ups of me. 337 00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:10,310 And you agreed. 338 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,820 I didn’t know what he was going to do with them. I swear I didn’t. 339 00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:17,820 And all while he was planning this-- this mockery! 340 00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:21,020 Dubbing in somebody else’s voice to make me look like a fool. 341 00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:23,320 I had nothing to do with it, so help me! 342 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:24,930 How could he do such a thing to me? 343 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,360 Oh, now, look, don’t take it so hard! 344 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,930 See, there will be other chances, other pictures. 345 00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:34,300 Not after what Morty Lenton has done to me. 346 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:38,270 I went to the theater expecting to see my comeback. 347 00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:41,440 Instead, I found myself attending my own funeral. 348 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,310 That’s right, my friend, drink a toast. 349 00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:51,290 A toast to Ernst Von Kroft, 350 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,790 the greatest laughingstock of them all. 351 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,230 May he rest in peace. 352 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,730 Hey, what are you... 353 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,000 What did you... 354 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,870 [stammering] What do you got there? 355 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,710 Souvenirs. 356 00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:14,740 Souvenirs of the dead. 357 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,180 Look! Remember these? 358 00:20:17,210 --> 00:20:18,350 [panting] 359 00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:20,520 I wore this in my first picture, 360 00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:22,120 -The Voice of Death. -Sure! 361 00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:23,650 Sure, I remember. 362 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,860 And these? The wrappings when I had played The Mummy. 363 00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:29,460 Oh, it’s great! It’s the greatest! 364 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:32,260 [panting] I saw it when I was a kid. 365 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:34,000 Yes, and you didn’t laugh at me then, did you? 366 00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:35,800 No! 367 00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:38,600 No, nobody laughed at you then. 368 00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:40,470 You were a monster. 369 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,540 You were the monster. 370 00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:44,170 And now I’m dead, 371 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,480 murdered by a stupid fool named Morty Lenton. 372 00:20:47,510 --> 00:20:50,310 No, you’re not-- you’re not dead. 373 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,410 Monsters never die. 374 00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:56,950 I... [heavy breathing] I believe in you, Von Kroft. 375 00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:00,060 You-- You’ll show ’em-- 376 00:21:00,060 --> 00:21:01,190 You-- 377 00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:03,760 You... 378 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,170 Hal? 379 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,470 Morty? 380 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,350 Hal! 381 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,590 Hal? 382 00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:37,730 Morty? 383 00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,130 Hal Ballew! 384 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,630 Morty? 385 00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:57,580 No... 386 00:21:57,610 --> 00:21:59,580 No... 387 00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:00,880 No... 388 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,090 [mumbles] 389 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,050 [gasps] 390 00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:12,830 No. 391 00:22:19,330 --> 00:22:21,140 No... [screams] 392 00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:23,540 [grunts] 393 00:22:23,570 --> 00:22:24,970 Hal! 394 00:22:25,070 --> 00:22:29,410 -Hal. -[panting] Help me. 395 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,810 Von Kroft... 396 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,580 I tried to stop him. 397 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:36,120 He knocked me down. 398 00:22:36,150 --> 00:22:37,720 I hit my head. 399 00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:42,090 [Fred] Where-- Where is he? 400 00:22:42,090 --> 00:22:43,730 [Hal] I don’t know. 401 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,560 But you’ve got to find him. 402 00:22:45,590 --> 00:22:47,100 [Fred] I... 403 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,330 Von... [gasps] 404 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,080 -Is he... -Dead. 405 00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:07,280 That’s how he killed Morty. 406 00:23:09,150 --> 00:23:10,820 [panting] 407 00:23:12,790 --> 00:23:16,290 I don’t understand this vampire bit. 408 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,360 What was he trying to prove? 409 00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:21,730 Something we should have remembered 410 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,430 all along, Hal. 411 00:23:24,930 --> 00:23:29,200 He was... the greatest monster of them all. 412 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,390 Obviously the lesson of that story is quite clear. 413 00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:49,360 One should be careful what friends you hang around with. 414 00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:51,460 As in this business. 415 00:23:53,190 --> 00:23:57,230 These girls are very carefully screened. 416 00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:00,870 The one here, for example, the one lighting my pipe, 417 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:04,040 she and I do not hit it off. 418 00:24:04,070 --> 00:24:07,040 She won’t be here long. 419 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,180 See you in a moment. 420 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,120 [loud explosion] 421 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:16,820 [whistling] 422 00:24:18,820 --> 00:24:20,060 [thuds] 423 00:24:25,490 --> 00:24:28,200 Until next week, goodnight.